Preparation for HDB - Higher... Deeper... Beyond...

Disclaimer: This blog is written by me (the one who experienced HDB for several years) with an intention of sharing my preparations for HDB. Hence, this is purely from the seeker's perspective and not the official communication from infinitheism. This blog could be useful for those who wants to know what is HDB, the benefits of HDB and the preparation required to get the best from HDB.
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HDB infinitheists say this about their HDB experience:

“The purest of all experiences”

“My annual pilgrimage, where I live with the Divine, and dance amongst the angels”

 “I live my 8 days with God in HDB, and then I take Him along with me after HDB”

“To laugh, to cry, to dance & to be a child in the spiritual womb of HDB is worth my life”

“You need His grace even to have His grace. HDB after HDB, I am grateful to have HIS grace”

“Ironically, I owe all my extroverted materialistic growth to my introverted HDB silence”

“I live my remaining 357 days, waiting for these 8 days”

What is HDB?

HDB - the short-form for "Higher... Deeper... Beyond..." is an annual residential spiritual retreat conducted by Mahatria Ra, founder of the path infinitheism. 'Spiritual retreat' - these two words are a very narrow description of what an HDB is. The expressions of some of the infinitheists (those who follow the teachings of infinitheism) as above would be a bit closer to what an HDB is.

HDB is conducted over a period of 8 days by Mahatria himself usually in four batches each during the months of November to February every year in India. Each batch would have around 200 seekers and they will be in the residential retreat for the entire 8 days at a stretch. HDB will be a very deep holistic experience which covers pretty much every aspect of life. The depths of silence experienced in HDB is the deepest not comparable to anything on earth. It will be a heaven on earth experience.
It will be 8 days of silence, pure bliss, being in devotion, laughter, tears of gratitude, divine love...

To know the the latest update about HDB, you could find on the infinitheism website: https://www.infinitheism.com/experience#hdb-spiritual

Some of the very unique practices followed in HDB:

1. There will be absolutely no talking for the entire 8 days whatsoever. Even the resort staff will not be talking. Except nature, music and Mahatria's voice, there will not be any other sound. Intent is to maintain the silence and to stay introverted to deepen the experience;
2. No technology / gadgets for the entire 8 days. We need to keep them switched off. This is to avoid any kind of external stimuli. Completely disconnected from the outside world - no contact with relatives and friends, no newspapers, no television,  no radio, etc. This is to stay away from the outside world to experience the silence within. It is a strong belief that when the HDB is on, everything goes well even in the outer world;
3. No eye-contact for the eight days. During the entire 8 days, we are expected to keep our eyes half open only for minimum movement within the resort. We are expected to keep ours eyes open to see the floor or the sky and not the others. Intent is to avoid stimuli from seeing others instead get dissolved in experiencing the nature. The longer we keep the eyes closed, the better for us;
4. No mirrors. There will be no mirrors in the entire resort campus. It is believed that it is time for introspection to reflect on the inside world rather than the external looks. Hence, we need not comb our hair or do any makeup;
5. We need to walk slower than we think. Preferably walk one step at a time during those 8 days. This is to avoid any jerky movements in the body and the resulting noise. It also helps to keep the mind where the body is;
6. No exchange of letters / gestures / things with the other seekers. Intent is to avoid any thought that causes disturbance to the fellow seekers who may be in completely different plane of silence. We cannot afford to cause a disturbance to the silence of others;
7. There will be a lot of dance for all the 8 days. We need not know dance. We simply need to flow with the flow of Mahatria. He will guide us. We simply need to surrender and follow His instructions;
8. Be yourself and not bothered by what is happening to others. Each one of us will be in our own space and therefore there is no need to pay attention to others. If at all any required, Mahatria will take care of them. He is there for each one of us;
9. There will be multi-cuisine vegetarian food available at the retreat. We don't need to pay for any of them. Simply enjoy them responsibly;
10. We will be experiencing the nature like never before;
11. There will be several occasions of belly laughter, tears of gratitude, state of bliss, flowering of heart experiences like never before. 

In order to experience all of the above and more of HDB, we need to prepare ourselves well.

Preparation for HDB:

A good preparation for HDB is almost half the job done to experience the best of HDB. Let us learn on how to prepare in each of the 8 stages of preparation for HDB.

Stage 1: Announcement of HDB:

Mahatria would be announcing the beginning of HDB somewhere in the month of July / August every year. This is considered as the beginning of miracle period. He would be announcing the dates for all the four batches and soon the registration will be open at the infinitheism website.

Once the announcement is done, as a seeker we need to surrender in faith that this miracle period is going to do all the good to all the people irrespective of they will get a seat in HDB or not. The number of seats in HDB are limited and the number of people who wants to experience are more, therefore HDB will choose its seekers for the year.

Stage 2: Application for HDB:

Who can apply?
Anyone who follows the infinitheism way of living life can apply. Usually applied from the age of 15 years and there is no upper limit of age. Those who want to apply should have complete faith in the path of infinitheism and willing to surrender to the process of HDB. They should be comfortable in following the above-mentioned unique practices of HDB. The best criteria for those who have done HDB earlier is that they should have grown holistically from the previous HDB.

How to apply?
The application can be filled online at infinitheism website. There will be usually a form with a set of questions asked in it. We need to fill them honestly and openly as each of our responses are personally read by Mahatria. This form will help Mahatria to understand us better and also in the selection process.

What after applying?
Wait. As mentioned earlier, HDB chooses its seekers. There is no other explanation to it. If we are destined, we will get the confirmation. There are several instances of people who did not plan but they got their seat. There are also instances where people had applied for many years and yet they haven't got their seat. All we can do is be in the state of bliss and gratitude for being able to apply for HDB. Get purer internally to qualify a seat in HDB. While waiting for confirmation, the following things could be started:

• Start practicing sitting on the floor, as we need to sit on the floor for long hours in HDB;
• Sit in silence (non-doing) every day for at least 30 minutes. We need to learn to be in the state of keeping our eyes closed;
• Practice infiniminute everyday at 11.11 am. This is the time several of us practice non-doing on a daily basis. It is believed that when we pray together at the same time, we contribute to and magnetize abundance;
• Get fit. Practice an hour of fitness activities every day. This could be walking, running, gym, yoga, zumba, dance, badminton or anything that keeps us active and fit. We got to be healthy and fit to be in HDB effortlessly;
• Practice voice rest for an hour everyday. This helps to be quiet and avoid the temptation to speak in HDB;
• Listen to Mahatria audio / video every day for at least 30 minutes. This is to get purified and tune into the voice of Mahatria. Remember, at the retreat, it is His voice is the only source that is going to guide us in to the entire process. Hence, it is important we are tuned to it;
• There will be a lot of music in HDB. Start listening to music on a daily basis. Here is the link to a sample playlist of music played in HDB;
• Start writing down what you want to achieve in HDB. We can also start writing down the questions and expressions to be shared with Mahatria in HDB;
• Stay away from technology gadgets for an hour a day. This helps us to learn to abstain the temptation to it;
• Be in the nature as often as possible to get accustomed to the natural weather and fresh air;
• Read infinithoughts and other books of Mahatria.

Stage 3: Confirmation of seat in HDB:

This is the moment you have been waiting for. A confirmation of your seat in HDB will arrive by SMS / email / Whatsapp / call to you. This means that spiritual calling has happened to you. Accept it gracefully. Not everyone get this opportunity. Once you got it, make the best use of it. As you read the confirmation of your seat, sit in silence to express your gratitude to the divine force which made it happen to you.

Following some of the things to be followed:

• Once you receive the confirmation, follow the instructions given in the confirmation to ensure you complete them accurately and on time;
• Getting a HDB seat is not an accomplishment rather it is a blessing. There is no need to publicize about your HDB to everyone in your world. Let your life speak a lot about you to your world instead of you talking about it. Getting a HDB seat is the beginning of living a responsible life;
• After the confirmation email, you will also get an email with instructions to be followed in HDB. This will be slightly a long email. Please ensure you personally read each of the instructions and make sure you start following them immediately;
• Ensure you book your travel tickets to HDB well ahead of time. Ensure you checked the dates of travel are accurate both onward and return;
• You would need to get warm clothes for HDB as the weather in that season of the year is usually cold. Go prepared for it;
• Make sure you carry sufficient set of comfortable clothes with you so that you don't have to worry about them in HDB;
• Start slowing down. Practice slow walking and avoid rushing things. This is important for you to ensure you slip in to HDB sooner than later;
• Make sure you complete all your important tasks (Business as well as personal) well ahead of your scheduled date of HDB. Avoid postponing any critical decisions till HDB. If something can wait, take them after you come back from HDB as the person you will come back from HDB will be very different with higher levels of maturity;
• Educate all your people about the fact that you will be away for HDB during which you will not be contactable. Give them the comfort that you are going for something to make you better and bigger. Assure them that you will come back and resume your duties;
• Write down your goals for the next year and the vision for the next 3 years. Make sure you carry this with you to HDB so that you can read them and redraft if necessary in HDB;
• Write a letter to Mahatria expressing your feelings and carry it to HDB and handover at the resort.

Stage 4: Departure to HDB:

• Ensure you packed your bags at least one day in advance of the travel. Carry adequate clothes but not too much;
• Make sure on the day of travel, you do not keep any important things incomplete. You either complete them previous day of travel or plan for them after your return;
• Ensure you invest quality time with your family on the day of travel;
• As you travel to the city of HDB, start withdrawing yourself. Avoid speaking and gift yourself a lot of time with eyes closed;
• Once you reach the pickup point at the city of HDB, as you step in to the bus for travelling to HDB location make sure you stop talking; 
• Your HDB starts as you step in to the bus for going to HDB location.

Stage 5: Arrival at HDB:

• The bus will take you to the HDB resort and as it stops at the venue make sure you step out of the bus in silence with half eyes closed. Take one step at a time in a slowest possible manner to pick your room keys and proceed; 
• Rooms are on twin-sharing basis. Hence, be courteous to your fellow seeker. The best thing you can do to your fellow seeker is by not causing any disturbance to him/her. Zero eye-contact with the fellow seeker and you make sure there is no noise created by you at all in the room or outside;
• There will be a personalized notebook readily waiting for your from Mahatria in your room. Make sure you take it and read the welcome note from Him;
• There will be plenty of time before the first session starts. Hence, make sure you settle down by ensuring you unpack your bag and also spend some alone time in the room or at the lawns outside. Use this opportunity to put your thoughts or write down your expressions;
• Stay in silence; slow walk; eyes closed - these are the only 3 things to be practiced all the time on all the 8 days in HDB.

Stage 6: During HDB:

• Once you arrive at HDB, Mahatria will take over. You don't need to worry about anything. All instructions will be clearly mentioned in all the visible places - just look for them. If at all, anything you want to ask, you can write it on a piece of paper at the reception. The reception team will act on them promptly;
• You will receive one key for the room with you. Make sure you keep it with you when you are outside your room. When you are going into a session, make sure you keep the keys at the designated place outside the hall / reception / lawn as the case may be. Just look for the instructions for placing the keys. After the end of each session, make sure you pick your room key and proceed to your room;
• You need to wear your sneakers only for sessions at the lawns. For rest of the sessions, you can wear your comfortable footwear;
• Always carry the HDB notebook, a small pad and some pens with you. This helps to capture your thoughts / learning all the time. You never know when that idea will flash which will be life transforming;
• At the convention hall, there will be provision of floor-level chair with backrest available. If required, make use of it. Ensure you are very careful in handling them to make sure they don't make any noise; 
• Make sure you are at the venue much before Mahatria arrives. Maintain absolute silence when you are inside. At the end of every session, stay in silence for some time after Mahatria leaves. This is very important to absorb the silence / energy around before you start leaving the place. When leaving, make sure there is no noise produced whatsoever;
• If you are choosing to write, avoid clicking your pen as that might produce noise. Choose a pen with a cap instead so that it would not make noise;
• During HDB, you can submit letters to Mahatria with your expressions and / or questions seeking His clarifications.  Always write questions separately in a letter and submit on the designated tray. Make sure you use personalized stationery for writing to Him. This is required as this our way of expressing gratitude to Him and it needs to be unique and special. Avoid using resorts stationery or any sub-standard material;
• Between the session breaks, invest maximum time in silence either at the hall or at the Ratria pillars or in the lawns;
• During breakfast / lunch / dinner, you will be usually served in buffet. Therefore, please be mindful of choosing the right food for you. Remember you are here for spiritual experience and therefore avoid over-eating. While eating, make sure there is no noise produced by the cutlery that you use;
• When you are at the lawns, it might be a bit cold. Endure it. There is bounty waiting for those who are willing to sustain. Stay in the laws as long as possible. When you feel it is time to leave for room, stay for some more time and only then leave;
• All sessions in HDB are mandatory. Therefore you cannot skip any of them;
• Make sure when you get a chance, experience Mahatria and then only proceed. This is the only and rare opportunity to experience Him. Don't miss it;
• Do no make any special orders at the resort like extra milk, turmeric, hot water, etc. Use what is provided. Again remember we are in HDB for our transformation and not for living in our comfort zone;
• There is no need to keep track of number of days in HDB. Mahatria will take care of us. Leave it to Him. Just get dissolved in the flood of experiences in HDB - this is what we need. We should reach a stage where we will not know which will be the last session. Experience every session as the last session and get the maximum out of it;

Stage 7: End of HDB:

• End of HDB is a spiritual birth for each one of us. In a way, this is our rebirth. Let us embrace it with a lot of grace and gratitude;
• Mahatria will be announcing the end of session in HDB. Express your gratitude and celebrate the moment as you are ready to go to the world as a new person;
• Before you leave, make sure you have reviewed all your notes and summed up your learning and takeaways from HDB. The best way to sum up is to set your goals for the next one year and the vision for the next 3 / 5 years. Be accountable to your goals by submitting them to Mahatria in HDB itself and following by reporting your progress to Him on a periodical basis after HDB;
• There will be series of instructions for departure from HDB by Mahatria. Please pay attention and make sure you follow them for a smooth departure from the venue;
• Be on-time for your departure and do not delay. Make sure you packed your bags properly tagged them accurately so that your baggage will arrive at the right departure venue;
• Begin your departure by expressing gratitude to the resort as you carry fond memories of bliss and spiritual rebirth;
• Your HDB is complete only after the bus in which you travel reaches the departure airport / railway station / drop point. Therefore follow all the disciplines of HDB until then; 
• You can start talking only after you step out of the bus.

Stage 8: After HDB:

• This the most important stage of HDB i.e. after HDB. If HDB was the spiritual womb, then this world is the life that we have got to live. We need to live this life worthy of the HDB that was gifted to us. Let us live responsibly;
• Once we come back from HDB, make it a point to be with the family and share your learning;
• Follow all the practices that we followed when we applied for HDB. This will deepen our transformation;
• Do ensure to meet as many people as possible and share your experiences as everyone needs the energy and wisdom of HDB;
• Make it a practice to read the notes of HDB on a daily basis. This helps reinforce our learning and make corrections on a daily basis;
• Be accountable to the actions you decided in HDB by reporting your progress to Mahatria on a regular basis (minimum every month). This is our return gift to Him.

Concluding thoughts:

1. 'Attitude to prepare to win' is more important than the 'attitude to win'. Let us put our 111% efforts to prepare for HDB;
2. Long enough - this should be the mindset we need to keep in mind in anything we do whether it is for being in silence or dancing or keeping our eyes closed or anything that we do in HDB;
3. We need to have one source that is beyond judgement for our own transformation. Therefore if we want to get the best of HDB, we need to be non-judgmental of Mahatria or the practices followed in HDB. Get dissolved in gratitude, love and devotion to the Path of infinitheism by living the infiniprayer:

Feeling Thy presence

Feeling Thy grace

Feeling Thy radiance

You are my source of faith and strength

You are my path and destination

And i am always connected to You

Nothing of me and everything of You

Lead me higher...

Lead me deeper...

Lead me beyond...

Lead me to You.

As Mahatria says, journey to the holiday should be as enjoyable as the holiday itself. Similarly preparation for HDB should be as deeper as HDB itself.

Come prepared to get soaked in the love of Mahatria...

My Virtual Reality

I can never forget my maths teacher. I don’t know what she taught, but she is the one who instilled a passion for mathematics and numbers deep within me.  In fact, I don’t even know when that happened but it had happened. When I go down the memory lane, I was a little boy of 8 years in my 3^rd grade at School. That was a new school for me and the madam was appearing magnanimous in front of me.

She was kind by nature, at the same time stern in her approach. I was very fearful in front of her, but deep within me I was admiring her in respect. I don’t know how this happened but it had happened. There are certain relationships are like this where there is no explanation is possible. It grew in leaps and bounds along with me. I developed a passion for numbers as I was growing in my studies and I knew that my madam is there for me. She was the foundation for me and she was a class teacher only till the primary grade. However, I started identifying her in my subsequent maths teachers as well in my future grades at School and then at my college. This one element helped me to continue and complete my profession as a Commerce graduate, Chartered Accountant and Cost Accountant where passion for maths and numbers is a must.

Let’s keep this aside for a moment. When I contemplate on so many other aspects of me viz. Fitness, Food habits, Decision making, Relationships, Business and so on, I recognize that I am basing myself with some experience of me in the past as my foundation to relate with these aspects. More often than not, it was triggered by a single individual or one such experience. In that sense, I draw inspiration momentarily and hold on to it when I am pursuing towards any of these aspects. When I hold on to it for long enough, excellence in me is born. I nurture it, I relate with it, I grow with it and I become part of it. It goes on to the extent that I become the definition for that inspiration itself. This is the ultimate status in excellence.

When I understand this to the next level of maturity, I live in a reality of life with an inspiration drawn from the past. In every experience of me right now, I relate with an inspiration of the past memory. In that sense, my present experience is super imposed by the inspiration of the past. At the same, the inspiration fuels me to enhance my present experience.

When I am doing my jogging in the mornings as part of my fitness workouts, I get so much of energy when I think of Carl Lewis running along with me. I have never met Carl Lewis and in fact I don’t even know how he looks but I know that he is a legendary runner. The mere thought of him as an inspiration gives me the energy to feel so good and run faster. This experience is very similar to my inspiration that I draw from my maths teacher even though she is not here next to me. But the fact of the matter is, in those moments I am with them. In that sense, it is My Virtual Reality that is beyond what I can perceive visually or through other senses right then. After all, reality is purely my personal experience which I alone can experience. My version alone holds good – no matters what others can think or perceive. Reality is my personal view.

This Virtual Reality can work against me as well when I relate with something negative. Does it mean that there is a reality which is working against me? Nooooo... not at all... It is only the Virtual Reality that I am trying to build all the time for myself which is influenced by an inspiration or otherwise. The beauty of this Virtual Reality is that it is upto my imagination and my ability to identify myself with such inspiration. When I start feeling that my job is not interesting, it only means that somewhere I am not able to visualize or drawn inspiration that gives the energy to my job. No matter what the job can be, it is only association with My Virtual Reality that helps me to perform with excellence. The beauty is such Virtual Reality not just repeats the excellence of the inspiration that I am drawing from, it can even surpass the excellence of inspiration and create new inroads to a path that no one entered. In essence, My Virtual Reality determines and defines the uniqueness of me. This Virtual Reality can be played like a game through which I can associate myself with all the time.

As I am writing this article, I am visualizing that my guru is sitting next to me and he is just admiring the way I am able to think and articulate. Just the thought of this situation gives me goose pimples and allow the energy of my guru flow through me and get the best out of me. When I am at work, I think of the best businessman and thought leaders of the world whom I revere to draw inspiration. When I am looking at my reality from their eyes, My Virtual Reality looks so much possible and promising. Leaders are those who derive their vision from their Virtual Reality and covert them to Reality.

In a spiritual sense, in My Virtual Reality I am surrendering my intelligence by embracing the higher intelligence. My Virtual Reality is determined by my ability to get connected to my inspiration. My inspiration can be from anyone or any experience. The highest level of my inspiration is to get connected to the source itself (i.e. the existence or god or creator or whatever the name we want to call it!). When I am able to relate with the highest order, my reality becomes the mirror reflection of my Virtual Reality. This is my mantra in order to live every moment with such heightened awareness and associate myself to the highest order. What more can I ask for, I am thankful to all those forces inspiring me to get connected all the time. My Virtual Reality = My Experience + My Inspiration. This is the winning combination for human excellence.

Winning Instinct!

Summer holidays have begun and it is the season to pull out all the unused stuff got hidden in the house. Whatever we kept as we will do in leisure are now up for use. After several months, I and my 9 year old Son have decided to venture into some sports activities. This is something we had not done enough, as I myself not a very sports enthusiast. Just to participate in the whole thing and keep him busy during the summer holidays, I decided to start playing some indoor and outdoor sports activities with him.

On day 1, we decided to play Table Tennis (TT) in our apartment TT room. I was a bit nervous because I am going to play TT after several years and I have been an amateur player myself. I knew a little bit on the basics of TT game and I have put a brave face in front of my Son to play the game. Incidentally my Son also not played TT before, which made my job easy in teaching him some basics and start playing.

We started the game and I had served few balls to him and he was attempting to hit back. First few times we both felt a bit difficult to play the game. We slowly started getting comfortable to play the game. Nevertheless, we couldn’t play continuously for more than couple of rounds. When it was the turn of my Son to serve the ball, somehow he could not do the serving. The ball was either flying away from the table or it just not meets the racket at all. First few attempts, he was patiently trying to make the serving, but very soon he was getting frustrated that he is not able to get it.

Slowly it had become anger and he started screaming why he is not getting it. I taught him in as many ways as I can yet he was still not getting it. In a matter of first 15 minutes, he concluded that he does not get it and decided to stop playing the game. I persisted and encouraged to continue for few more shots but the frustration prevailed all through. In about 30 minutes, we decided to end the game abruptly and go back home.

The next day we decided to play Badminton. This is again something we have not played together and it was almost the first time for my Son.  I have been an amateur Badminton player as well. The same story repeats even in Badminton wherein my Son was getting frustrated and angry that he doesn’t know how to serve. I persisted and told him that this is just a practice session and not even a big game.  We are just learning and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t get right the first time. Moreover, this is just the first attempt and we have played only for less than half hour. This doesn’t call for frustration and anger, as it doesn’t serve the purpose of learning the game. Right now the focus should not be on winning, the focus should be on learning and practicing. Get the basics right, be familiar with the fundamentals and then focus on playing well and winning the game.

Winning instinct is inevitable as it is very natural to ourselves, but we should know when to use it. Applying this winning instinct in everything we do, it may not yield any result. There will be times we have to learn, there will be times to let go, there will be occasions we just need to wait. Winning instinct per se is a good thing, but expecting the results to my favor in every attempt and especially from the first attempt is a bit too ambitious. Life prefers to give the results only to the prepared soul. My preparation does call for learning, training, few slips here and there, few bruises and so on. But the fact of the matter is all of these are required to prepare myself for eventually winning the game – the big game. If I am not ready to invest my time to learn and persist the slip ups, then I give up. When I give up, I am not in the game at all. Then where is the question of winning?

I tried my best to explain all of these and it did work for him eventually, as he slowly removed the winning instinct while he was still practicing. Persistence prevailed over the winning instinct. He started seeing the results and there was a smile in his face at last. He now started enjoying the game like never before.

We came back from the game and as I sat down with a cup of coffee in my hand, I was trying to understand the experience and the learning from the game. Yes, it is indeed applicable to me as well. There have been several situations when I start a new project and I get very worked up and frustrated when I don’t get the desired results as per my expectations in the initial stages. This had in turn caused anxiety and frustration among the people around me as well. I know the project is important and it is very critical it becomes successful. As a team member in the project, my focus was always on the results in the initial stages (winning instinct was playing on me!) rather than focusing on getting the basics right be familiar with the fundamentals and then focus on playing well and winning the game. How true it is!!! what I am going through on a daily basis is no different from what my Son was going through.

Winning instinct is in the core nature of human-being. We all want to win and this cannot be ignored and it should not be ignored. After all, the evolution of human being happened only through this winning instinct. In spite of this, not everyone is a winner. One of the main reason for this is we have given too much focus on winning instinct instead of focusing on getting the basics right. We want to win very quickly without even investing the time and effort it requires to prepare myself to win. Winning is possible only if I am prepared enough. When I am prepared for the big game, winning is a question of time. When I am not prepared or quit the big game, winning is not possible. The choice is on me to focus on the right thing at the right time. Life is a game in itself and I am constantly preparing myself to win this Big Game. When I know that I am playing with Him as my opponent, I need to have the persistence to learn and get my fundamentals on the game right. Eventually if as a mortal father I allow my Son to win, won’t the immortal father He allow me to win?

Winning instinct + Persistence = Success

I am a product of...

My own past looked like someone else’s past. This is what exactly I felt when I was requested to address over 800 MBA students in my organization. I had to take a session on sharing my experiences and wisdom on how to make a career in the corporate world. Initially I was a bit nervous as that would be the first time I would be addressing such a big gathering. But, on the day of the session, I was in my zone and gave the best ever speech for 2 hours. There was huge applause and appreciation from all the students. At the end of the session, there was a great sense of satisfaction in me that I could contribute to the students in helping them to build a better career.

About 15 years ago, I was a person who was very shy, low on confidence and dare to face the crowd. In all the earlier attempts of even talking to small group of people in an informal setting was a huge effort for me to overcome. I failed consistently and I thought I will never be able to make it in my lifetime. Today, it is the same me who could address such a large gathering of people and make sense to them. This is why my own past looks like someone else’s past.

After taking the session in my organization, I was driving back to my home in my luxury car. There was mixed feeling of joy and surprise within me. I couldn’t believe myself that I could move from where to here. While there was a lot of effort from my side to reach this level, but then what surprised me was how come I alone could reach this stage as compared to some of my friends and colleagues who are still struggling to move forward. This was even more intrigue to digest as I understood from my teacher that all human-beings are created with same potential.

What is so unique in me? What is my composition that makes me so different and able to get surprised myself? Some of these questions were trying to find answers within me. I was searching within me and I recollected the learning from my teacher that only human-being comprises of Physical, Mental, Emotional, Intellectual and Spiritual personality. Wherein,

Physical personality is the body that I am gifted with and it is only with this body I can do anything. Without this body, I don’t exist. The world identifies me as a human-being through my physical personality. Using this body I am able to manifest many thoughts into action.

Mental personality is the flow of thoughts that I am capable of handling. It is this personality of me that monitors the thoughts both outwards and inwards of me. Quality of my life is directly dependent on the quality of my thoughts. Mind is the only faculty that has the capability to monitor the thoughts and regulate them in a direction.

Emotional personality is my ability to relate with myself and to the world. There is no life without relationship and we cannot escape from it. Even if don’t want anything and anyone, I still need to relate with myself. Hence, my emotional personality plays a crucial role that determines my ability to move ahead in life.

Intellectual personality is that faculty of mine that differentiates right and wrong. We as a human-being are driven by certain values which are nothing but our belief on what is right and what is wrong. This applies to me and to the world as well. My intellectual personality helping me to steer life in the direction in which I consider it is right.

Spiritual personality is the defining force within me that made me. It is this same personality that made this universe and all the living and non-living. This is the existential reality. This is the force that steers me and I don’t have control over it. I can only attempt to understand it and align myself to the laws of life. The more I am aligned to the laws of life, the higher my state of spiritual personality.

All the above 5 personalities ultimately determines who I am. These 5 personalities make me a complete human-being. This seems quite clear to me but then I was still thinking that these 5 personalities again common for everyone. If that is the case, what makes me? What identifies me as so special and unique? This is something I couldn’t find a convincing answer. I definitely do not want to call it as luck or fortune or previous karma.

As I was thinking deeper into it, I realized that each of these 5 personalities are nurtured and developed in me over a period of time. In that sense, I am not a finished product at any stage. This is an ongoing process. I am a product in development and there are many forces that influence in this process of building my personality. But there must be some big influence on each of these personalities that shapes me.  I wanted to take a stock of what shapes these personalities in me and who contribute the maximum:

Physical personality: This physical form of me was brought to this world by mother (Matha). Without her nurturing me in her womb and her efforts even after my birth, I do not exist. This is the reason why she is my biggest inspiration and I can dedicate the greater part of my physical personality to my mother. She is the architect and built the foundation of my physical personality.

Mental personality: Flow of thoughts is driven by the values. My value system is greatly influenced by the beliefs that are sown in me. The architect of my beliefs is my father (Pitha). He is the hero of my life and he is a mega personality. I try to follow and imitate him knowingly or unknowingly. I cannot separate my father in building my foundation of values. His contribution is the highest in chiselling my value system to its fineness.

Emotional personality: This is very touchy and feely element of me. I learn to express the best in the presence of my friends (Mithra). My friends or even a single best friend can exactly tell me what I am feeling within. This is the wonderful power of friendship. A friend can be any person including spouse, colleague, neighbour, boss, schoolmate, college mate or relative. A friend in my life helps me to shape my emotions during the course of building this wonderful relationship. A true friendship is one relationship where there is no expectation from each other. We simply want to relate with each other and be true to ourselves in expressing ourselves. This is the best relationship that builds my emotional personality.

Intellectual personality: My intelligence is gained through the knowledge that I gather. The best way I gather knowledge is through my teacher (Guru). My teacher or guru is the person who enlightens me with the knowledge that helps me to identify myself with rights and wrongs. The teacher also helps me to learn and realize all the other personalities within me.

Spiritual personality: Spirituality is the most confused aspect. In my view, spirituality is my ability to recognize the presence of that force (which created me) in everything that I relate with. In order to achieve this, I first need to anchor myself to one faith through which I can identify myself, relate with and then will be able to see that force in everything outside of me. I would call that faith as God (Deivam). God is not an intellectual understanding but is a personality. God is that personality that I should be able to relate with my heart. Therefore it would be a first step for me to identify a form in which I build my faith through which I can recognize the spiritual personality.

If I have to summarise, I am a product of Matha, Pitha, Mithra, Guru and Deivam. Matha is my mother, Pitha is my father, Mithra is my friend, Guru is my teacher and Deivam is my god. All the five of them have great influence in shaping my 5 personalities. If we remove any one of them, I will be incomplete and imbalanced. It is these 5 personalities make me what I am today. I am a product of each one of them and all of them. I can even conclude that if my life is going great, it is because that I have all the 5 of them are positively influencing my 5 personalities. If there are any challenges in my life, it only means that somewhere I am not paying attention to the teachings of any one of them.

In that sense, I am a product of my Matha, Pitha, Mithra, Guru and Deivam. They shape me and they are the reason for what I am today. I am grateful to each one of them. With all of them together, everything is possible. It is with this belief I stride myself to soar to new heights of exploring this human potential.

Dear Daddy,

Dear Daddy

I woke up today morning thanking you for what you mean to me. You have been a source of inspiration to me that I will never be able to erase from me. This has been my routine for the past few months and I am indebted to you for my lifetime to thank you for what you have given to me. Little I knew that today is the last day I will ever get to see you again. It has come as a shock to me that you no more belong to this world and you have taken the leap of separating from your body to merge with the existence.

Dad, I am not prepared to accept this news. I cannot believe that I could not see you before you left your body. I cannot believe that I could not hear before you left your body. I am unable to imagine that I cannot express and feel you anymore. Somewhere I believed that you are there to hear me and see me enjoying this life. I am unable to imagine that I cannot see you any more except I can perceive you. It is a very hard reality daddy that I am just not ready to accept. I am sure at the time of going you must have wanting to see me, talk to me and express your love. Even though we have been living in different cities, I was always thinking you are just a phone call away. But today, I am getting the feeling of not been able to relate with you anymore. Is this real daddy? Am I ready to go through this daddy?

While my mind understands that all of us born are bound to leave this planet one day, but my heart is not willing to accept this reality. I have been growing with the strength of you daddy. My health, my maturity, my value system and my beliefs everything is shaped by you. I have not told this to you as many times as I wished to express. Daddy, I just want to let you know that you are a part of me and I am grateful to you. Daddy, you have not spoken a word with me on how to live life, instead you showed me by living your life. Daddy, you have never motivated me to do great things in life, but you gave me that comfort, strength and courage that I am capable of achieving big in life.

Daddy, I cannot forget the hug I gave you last time when we met. I cannot forget the last time when I said ‘I Love You’. I cannot forget the last letter I wrote to you and I know that you have preserved that letter very safely close to your heart. I cannot forget the last birthday wish call I made to you yesterday. I am grateful daddy that I could express my love to you in my own little ways. But, I just want to let you know that my expression of love is only a miniscule of what I feel within.

I really wish I could have expressed more to hear from you on what you want. I know daddy you sacrificed your youth to up bring me. I know the days when you fed me with your portion of food. I cannot forget the number of days you carried me, took me along to the school and college by walk. You are my hero daddy. You make me feel stronger and worthy. There is nothing enough I can do to express my gratitude to you. This one lifetime is not enough to thank you for what you have done. The only way I can express my gratitude is by living my life worthy of it. Dad, I promise you that I will not let you down. I will live life in such a way that you will be proud of me. Daddy, I will ensure that I will be more expressive within all my relations. I do not want to miss anyone anymore, for life is so short that nobody knows when their call due is. I will live life as if there is a whole lifetime is waiting, I will express my love to people as if there is no tomorrow.

Daddy, this is not my last letter to you. It is my continuation of my expression of love for you. I will continue to express my love with the memory of all the great time we had together. I know you are reading this letter from wherever you are. With a strong sense of belief that you are there for me, I will continue to look for you and look up to you. Till now, all my expressions were ‘I am with You’ and now onwards it is ‘You are with Me’.

With lots of love,

Your ever loving son