My Virtual Reality

I can never forget my maths teacher. I don’t know what she taught, but she is the one who instilled a passion for mathematics and numbers deep within me.  In fact, I don’t even know when that happened but it had happened. When I go down the memory lane, I was a little boy of 8 years in my 3^rd grade at School. That was a new school for me and the madam was appearing magnanimous in front of me.

She was kind by nature, at the same time stern in her approach. I was very fearful in front of her, but deep within me I was admiring her in respect. I don’t know how this happened but it had happened. There are certain relationships are like this where there is no explanation is possible. It grew in leaps and bounds along with me. I developed a passion for numbers as I was growing in my studies and I knew that my madam is there for me. She was the foundation for me and she was a class teacher only till the primary grade. However, I started identifying her in my subsequent maths teachers as well in my future grades at School and then at my college. This one element helped me to continue and complete my profession as a Commerce graduate, Chartered Accountant and Cost Accountant where passion for maths and numbers is a must.

Let’s keep this aside for a moment. When I contemplate on so many other aspects of me viz. Fitness, Food habits, Decision making, Relationships, Business and so on, I recognize that I am basing myself with some experience of me in the past as my foundation to relate with these aspects. More often than not, it was triggered by a single individual or one such experience. In that sense, I draw inspiration momentarily and hold on to it when I am pursuing towards any of these aspects. When I hold on to it for long enough, excellence in me is born. I nurture it, I relate with it, I grow with it and I become part of it. It goes on to the extent that I become the definition for that inspiration itself. This is the ultimate status in excellence.

When I understand this to the next level of maturity, I live in a reality of life with an inspiration drawn from the past. In every experience of me right now, I relate with an inspiration of the past memory. In that sense, my present experience is super imposed by the inspiration of the past. At the same, the inspiration fuels me to enhance my present experience.

When I am doing my jogging in the mornings as part of my fitness workouts, I get so much of energy when I think of Carl Lewis running along with me. I have never met Carl Lewis and in fact I don’t even know how he looks but I know that he is a legendary runner. The mere thought of him as an inspiration gives me the energy to feel so good and run faster. This experience is very similar to my inspiration that I draw from my maths teacher even though she is not here next to me. But the fact of the matter is, in those moments I am with them. In that sense, it is My Virtual Reality that is beyond what I can perceive visually or through other senses right then. After all, reality is purely my personal experience which I alone can experience. My version alone holds good – no matters what others can think or perceive. Reality is my personal view.

This Virtual Reality can work against me as well when I relate with something negative. Does it mean that there is a reality which is working against me? Nooooo... not at all... It is only the Virtual Reality that I am trying to build all the time for myself which is influenced by an inspiration or otherwise. The beauty of this Virtual Reality is that it is upto my imagination and my ability to identify myself with such inspiration. When I start feeling that my job is not interesting, it only means that somewhere I am not able to visualize or drawn inspiration that gives the energy to my job. No matter what the job can be, it is only association with My Virtual Reality that helps me to perform with excellence. The beauty is such Virtual Reality not just repeats the excellence of the inspiration that I am drawing from, it can even surpass the excellence of inspiration and create new inroads to a path that no one entered. In essence, My Virtual Reality determines and defines the uniqueness of me. This Virtual Reality can be played like a game through which I can associate myself with all the time.

As I am writing this article, I am visualizing that my guru is sitting next to me and he is just admiring the way I am able to think and articulate. Just the thought of this situation gives me goose pimples and allow the energy of my guru flow through me and get the best out of me. When I am at work, I think of the best businessman and thought leaders of the world whom I revere to draw inspiration. When I am looking at my reality from their eyes, My Virtual Reality looks so much possible and promising. Leaders are those who derive their vision from their Virtual Reality and covert them to Reality.

In a spiritual sense, in My Virtual Reality I am surrendering my intelligence by embracing the higher intelligence. My Virtual Reality is determined by my ability to get connected to my inspiration. My inspiration can be from anyone or any experience. The highest level of my inspiration is to get connected to the source itself (i.e. the existence or god or creator or whatever the name we want to call it!). When I am able to relate with the highest order, my reality becomes the mirror reflection of my Virtual Reality. This is my mantra in order to live every moment with such heightened awareness and associate myself to the highest order. What more can I ask for, I am thankful to all those forces inspiring me to get connected all the time. My Virtual Reality = My Experience + My Inspiration. This is the winning combination for human excellence.

Winning Instinct!

Summer holidays have begun and it is the season to pull out all the unused stuff got hidden in the house. Whatever we kept as we will do in leisure are now up for use. After several months, I and my 9 year old Son have decided to venture into some sports activities. This is something we had not done enough, as I myself not a very sports enthusiast. Just to participate in the whole thing and keep him busy during the summer holidays, I decided to start playing some indoor and outdoor sports activities with him.

On day 1, we decided to play Table Tennis (TT) in our apartment TT room. I was a bit nervous because I am going to play TT after several years and I have been an amateur player myself. I knew a little bit on the basics of TT game and I have put a brave face in front of my Son to play the game. Incidentally my Son also not played TT before, which made my job easy in teaching him some basics and start playing.

We started the game and I had served few balls to him and he was attempting to hit back. First few times we both felt a bit difficult to play the game. We slowly started getting comfortable to play the game. Nevertheless, we couldn’t play continuously for more than couple of rounds. When it was the turn of my Son to serve the ball, somehow he could not do the serving. The ball was either flying away from the table or it just not meets the racket at all. First few attempts, he was patiently trying to make the serving, but very soon he was getting frustrated that he is not able to get it.

Slowly it had become anger and he started screaming why he is not getting it. I taught him in as many ways as I can yet he was still not getting it. In a matter of first 15 minutes, he concluded that he does not get it and decided to stop playing the game. I persisted and encouraged to continue for few more shots but the frustration prevailed all through. In about 30 minutes, we decided to end the game abruptly and go back home.

The next day we decided to play Badminton. This is again something we have not played together and it was almost the first time for my Son.  I have been an amateur Badminton player as well. The same story repeats even in Badminton wherein my Son was getting frustrated and angry that he doesn’t know how to serve. I persisted and told him that this is just a practice session and not even a big game.  We are just learning and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t get right the first time. Moreover, this is just the first attempt and we have played only for less than half hour. This doesn’t call for frustration and anger, as it doesn’t serve the purpose of learning the game. Right now the focus should not be on winning, the focus should be on learning and practicing. Get the basics right, be familiar with the fundamentals and then focus on playing well and winning the game.

Winning instinct is inevitable as it is very natural to ourselves, but we should know when to use it. Applying this winning instinct in everything we do, it may not yield any result. There will be times we have to learn, there will be times to let go, there will be occasions we just need to wait. Winning instinct per se is a good thing, but expecting the results to my favor in every attempt and especially from the first attempt is a bit too ambitious. Life prefers to give the results only to the prepared soul. My preparation does call for learning, training, few slips here and there, few bruises and so on. But the fact of the matter is all of these are required to prepare myself for eventually winning the game – the big game. If I am not ready to invest my time to learn and persist the slip ups, then I give up. When I give up, I am not in the game at all. Then where is the question of winning?

I tried my best to explain all of these and it did work for him eventually, as he slowly removed the winning instinct while he was still practicing. Persistence prevailed over the winning instinct. He started seeing the results and there was a smile in his face at last. He now started enjoying the game like never before.

We came back from the game and as I sat down with a cup of coffee in my hand, I was trying to understand the experience and the learning from the game. Yes, it is indeed applicable to me as well. There have been several situations when I start a new project and I get very worked up and frustrated when I don’t get the desired results as per my expectations in the initial stages. This had in turn caused anxiety and frustration among the people around me as well. I know the project is important and it is very critical it becomes successful. As a team member in the project, my focus was always on the results in the initial stages (winning instinct was playing on me!) rather than focusing on getting the basics right be familiar with the fundamentals and then focus on playing well and winning the game. How true it is!!! what I am going through on a daily basis is no different from what my Son was going through.

Winning instinct is in the core nature of human-being. We all want to win and this cannot be ignored and it should not be ignored. After all, the evolution of human being happened only through this winning instinct. In spite of this, not everyone is a winner. One of the main reason for this is we have given too much focus on winning instinct instead of focusing on getting the basics right. We want to win very quickly without even investing the time and effort it requires to prepare myself to win. Winning is possible only if I am prepared enough. When I am prepared for the big game, winning is a question of time. When I am not prepared or quit the big game, winning is not possible. The choice is on me to focus on the right thing at the right time. Life is a game in itself and I am constantly preparing myself to win this Big Game. When I know that I am playing with Him as my opponent, I need to have the persistence to learn and get my fundamentals on the game right. Eventually if as a mortal father I allow my Son to win, won’t the immortal father He allow me to win?

Winning instinct + Persistence = Success

I am a product of...

My own past looked like someone else’s past. This is what exactly I felt when I was requested to address over 800 MBA students in my organization. I had to take a session on sharing my experiences and wisdom on how to make a career in the corporate world. Initially I was a bit nervous as that would be the first time I would be addressing such a big gathering. But, on the day of the session, I was in my zone and gave the best ever speech for 2 hours. There was huge applause and appreciation from all the students. At the end of the session, there was a great sense of satisfaction in me that I could contribute to the students in helping them to build a better career.

About 15 years ago, I was a person who was very shy, low on confidence and dare to face the crowd. In all the earlier attempts of even talking to small group of people in an informal setting was a huge effort for me to overcome. I failed consistently and I thought I will never be able to make it in my lifetime. Today, it is the same me who could address such a large gathering of people and make sense to them. This is why my own past looks like someone else’s past.

After taking the session in my organization, I was driving back to my home in my luxury car. There was mixed feeling of joy and surprise within me. I couldn’t believe myself that I could move from where to here. While there was a lot of effort from my side to reach this level, but then what surprised me was how come I alone could reach this stage as compared to some of my friends and colleagues who are still struggling to move forward. This was even more intrigue to digest as I understood from my teacher that all human-beings are created with same potential.

What is so unique in me? What is my composition that makes me so different and able to get surprised myself? Some of these questions were trying to find answers within me. I was searching within me and I recollected the learning from my teacher that only human-being comprises of Physical, Mental, Emotional, Intellectual and Spiritual personality. Wherein,

Physical personality is the body that I am gifted with and it is only with this body I can do anything. Without this body, I don’t exist. The world identifies me as a human-being through my physical personality. Using this body I am able to manifest many thoughts into action.

Mental personality is the flow of thoughts that I am capable of handling. It is this personality of me that monitors the thoughts both outwards and inwards of me. Quality of my life is directly dependent on the quality of my thoughts. Mind is the only faculty that has the capability to monitor the thoughts and regulate them in a direction.

Emotional personality is my ability to relate with myself and to the world. There is no life without relationship and we cannot escape from it. Even if don’t want anything and anyone, I still need to relate with myself. Hence, my emotional personality plays a crucial role that determines my ability to move ahead in life.

Intellectual personality is that faculty of mine that differentiates right and wrong. We as a human-being are driven by certain values which are nothing but our belief on what is right and what is wrong. This applies to me and to the world as well. My intellectual personality helping me to steer life in the direction in which I consider it is right.

Spiritual personality is the defining force within me that made me. It is this same personality that made this universe and all the living and non-living. This is the existential reality. This is the force that steers me and I don’t have control over it. I can only attempt to understand it and align myself to the laws of life. The more I am aligned to the laws of life, the higher my state of spiritual personality.

All the above 5 personalities ultimately determines who I am. These 5 personalities make me a complete human-being. This seems quite clear to me but then I was still thinking that these 5 personalities again common for everyone. If that is the case, what makes me? What identifies me as so special and unique? This is something I couldn’t find a convincing answer. I definitely do not want to call it as luck or fortune or previous karma.

As I was thinking deeper into it, I realized that each of these 5 personalities are nurtured and developed in me over a period of time. In that sense, I am not a finished product at any stage. This is an ongoing process. I am a product in development and there are many forces that influence in this process of building my personality. But there must be some big influence on each of these personalities that shapes me.  I wanted to take a stock of what shapes these personalities in me and who contribute the maximum:

Physical personality: This physical form of me was brought to this world by mother (Matha). Without her nurturing me in her womb and her efforts even after my birth, I do not exist. This is the reason why she is my biggest inspiration and I can dedicate the greater part of my physical personality to my mother. She is the architect and built the foundation of my physical personality.

Mental personality: Flow of thoughts is driven by the values. My value system is greatly influenced by the beliefs that are sown in me. The architect of my beliefs is my father (Pitha). He is the hero of my life and he is a mega personality. I try to follow and imitate him knowingly or unknowingly. I cannot separate my father in building my foundation of values. His contribution is the highest in chiselling my value system to its fineness.

Emotional personality: This is very touchy and feely element of me. I learn to express the best in the presence of my friends (Mithra). My friends or even a single best friend can exactly tell me what I am feeling within. This is the wonderful power of friendship. A friend can be any person including spouse, colleague, neighbour, boss, schoolmate, college mate or relative. A friend in my life helps me to shape my emotions during the course of building this wonderful relationship. A true friendship is one relationship where there is no expectation from each other. We simply want to relate with each other and be true to ourselves in expressing ourselves. This is the best relationship that builds my emotional personality.

Intellectual personality: My intelligence is gained through the knowledge that I gather. The best way I gather knowledge is through my teacher (Guru). My teacher or guru is the person who enlightens me with the knowledge that helps me to identify myself with rights and wrongs. The teacher also helps me to learn and realize all the other personalities within me.

Spiritual personality: Spirituality is the most confused aspect. In my view, spirituality is my ability to recognize the presence of that force (which created me) in everything that I relate with. In order to achieve this, I first need to anchor myself to one faith through which I can identify myself, relate with and then will be able to see that force in everything outside of me. I would call that faith as God (Deivam). God is not an intellectual understanding but is a personality. God is that personality that I should be able to relate with my heart. Therefore it would be a first step for me to identify a form in which I build my faith through which I can recognize the spiritual personality.

If I have to summarise, I am a product of Matha, Pitha, Mithra, Guru and Deivam. Matha is my mother, Pitha is my father, Mithra is my friend, Guru is my teacher and Deivam is my god. All the five of them have great influence in shaping my 5 personalities. If we remove any one of them, I will be incomplete and imbalanced. It is these 5 personalities make me what I am today. I am a product of each one of them and all of them. I can even conclude that if my life is going great, it is because that I have all the 5 of them are positively influencing my 5 personalities. If there are any challenges in my life, it only means that somewhere I am not paying attention to the teachings of any one of them.

In that sense, I am a product of my Matha, Pitha, Mithra, Guru and Deivam. They shape me and they are the reason for what I am today. I am grateful to each one of them. With all of them together, everything is possible. It is with this belief I stride myself to soar to new heights of exploring this human potential.